The Carrier
by Preston Lang
on Tour April 1 – 30, 2014

Book Details:
Genre: Crime Fiction
Published by: 280 Steps
Publication Date: March 2014
Number of Pages: 250
ISBN: 978-82-93326-18-2
Synopsis:
A Debut Novel in the vein of Tim Dorsey, Carl Hiaasen and Laurence Shames
It’s a bad idea for a drug courier to pick up strange women in roadside bars. Cyril learns this lesson when the girl he brings back to his motel room points a gun at him.
But Willow isn’t the only one after the goods that Cyril’s been hired to pick up. A fast talking sex-offender and his oversized neighbor are also on the trail, as is Cyril’s sinister brother, Duane.
Willow and Cyril soon form an uneasy alliance based on necessity, lust, and the desire for a quick payday. But with so many dangerous players giving chase, will they nab their package?
Read an excerpt:
Cyril hadnโt given another thought to the boy in the baseball hat. He assumed the kid had gone back to play pool with his friends or drink beer directly from the pitcher. Cyril turned to the bar and tried to read the scrambled captioning for Monday Night Football. The players hit each other too hard, so he decided to go back to his motel room. He was halfway to the door when the girl stopped him.
โDo you have a second?โ she asked.
She was dark-haired with quick, vital eyes, and she had a voiceโlow and tangy.
โWhatโs on your mind?โ asked Cyril.
โThat frat boy and two of his brothers are waiting for you outside.โ
โThe frat boy?โ
โI just thought you should know.โ
โThank you.โ
They stood for a moment together, neither one ready to end the conversation.
โWhy did you call him a fuck monkey?โ the girl asked.
โHe was acting… like a fuck monkey.โ
โIโm sure youโre right, but what do you gain from pointing it out?โ
โIt may have been a mistake,โ he said.
The frat boy had banged on the bar with a spoon and made two loud yips at a shampoo commercial on the TV screen. Cyril hadnโt raised his voice; heโd politely told the boy to stop acting like a fuck monkey. He thought the boy had taken his suggestion and that all was well.
โSo what do you think I should do?โ Cyril asked the girl.
โWell, if you really want to impress me, youโll go out the front and kick all three of their asses with a really cool expression on your face. But if I were you I would probably go out the back way.โ
โWhereโs the back way?โ
โYou have to go through the kitchen. Just walk straight through. The dishwashers will probably yell at you; by that time youโll be out the back door.โ
โIโve got a third option.โ
โWhatโs that?โ
โWe could sit down and you could tell me your lifeโs story. By the time youโre done, the boys will probably have called it an evening.โ
โDonโt you have somewhere to go?โ she asked.
โNot really.โ
โYou were leaving.โ
โI was just going to go back to my motel room, maybe watch TV, maybe steal some soap.โ
โYou shouldnโt do that.โ
โWhy not?โ
โThey find you and they make you pay.โ
โTell me more about this,โ Cyril said, motioning to a table.
The girl sat facing the bar, and Cyril sat across from her. He had a view of the door in case angry frat boys charged in, tired of waiting out in the chilly Iowa night. She told him her name was Willow and that she wasnโt with anybody.
โIs there a college nearby?โ asked Cyril.
โGraham College. Itโs not exactly Princeton. If you can pay tuition, theyโll probably let you in… I go there.โ
โWhat do you study?โ
โIโm undeclared,โ she said, โYou know, I could have told you that Graham College is the best school in the country. Then you would have thought that I was a genius.โ
โWell, I have met some of your classmates,โ he said, gesturing out towards the open room.
โThatโs true. Did you go to college?โ
โIโve taken a few pottery courses.โ
Students drank with young energy and bounced around the room; townies sat at the bar and corner tables. Willow and Cyril drank slowly and talked about themselves for an hour.
โItโs getting late,โ she said.
โYou have an early class tomorrow?โ
โYou have a motel room?โ
โYes.โ
โI think that I would like to see it.โ
โItโs about a 15 minute walk.โ
โYou didnโt bring a car?โ
โI donโt drink and drive.โ
โYouโre a really good example.โ
They had been walking almost a minute when they saw the Fuck Monkey approach with two of his frat brothers.
โHey, you. Asshole, you,โ he slurred his words, but he seemed reasonably steady on his feet. His brothers were bigger than he was. Cyril was average-sized and a few years older than an undergraduate.
โGo home,โ said Willow to the boys.
โOkay, darlem. You just step back. Iโm going to tear up your boyfriend here.โ
โWhatโs darlem?โ asked Cyril.
โI think he meant darling,โ said Willow.
โI donโt need you to get hurt,โ the boy said, still to Willow.
He stepped closer to Cyril. His brothers moved in a bit, but it looked like they were going to let the Monkey do what he could on his own before they stepped in. Cyril did a quick check of the two big guys, and the Monkey shoved him backwards.
โCome on, Les,โ said one of the brothers, โDonโt play. Bring the warrior to him.โ
โWarrior,โ said the other brother in his deepest bass. It wasnโt clear that he respected Les.
Les came at Cyril with a big wild punch. Cyril stepped aside, and Les cursed and spun. Cyril grabbed a hold of Willow and tried to hurry her away, but the brothers blocked their path.
โFight me,โ cried Les.
โLook guys,โ said Cyril, โThis doesnโt make any sense. Youโre all going to get thrown out of school. Think ofโโ Suddenly the brothers began to edge away, holding up their hands and stepping backwards. Cyril watched, puzzled, and then he turned to see that Willow had drawn a gun.
โGo home,โ she said.
โBitch is crazy,โ said a brother, but they had now turned and were leaving at a jog.
That left Les.
โGo home, Les,โ said Willow.
Cyril was not without sympathy for Lesโs evening: the unavenged insult, the traitorous brothers. Lesโs eyes were drunk and scheming. He hadnโt given up yet.
โIf he rushes you, donโt shoot him,โ said Cyril.
โI might shoot him,โ said Willow.
โPlease, go home,โ said Cyril.
โYou donโt know who youโre messing with,โ said Les.
โDo you understand that right now, she can shoot you and not go to jail for it?โ
Les said nothing. The insane idea that had careened through his head seemed to have moved on.
โWeโre going to walk away now. Please, donโt follow,โ said Cyril.
And thatโs what they did. Les slumped against the side of a building.
โIs it normal at your school for a coed to walk around with a handgun?โ Cyril asked about five minutes later.
โA coed? What is that?
โA female college student?โ
โWhy is that a coed?โ
โI guess when female college students were not all that common, the girls at coeducational schools were called coeds.โ
โWell, thatโs stupid. These days thereโs a lot more girls than boys in school. They should call the boys coeds. Seriously, this place is like 70/30 girls. Itโs horrible. And dicks like those guys can get women left and right, because what choice do we have?โ
โAnd thatโs why you carry a gun?โ
โIโve got a gun. I mean, arenโt you glad?โ
โI suppose.โ
โWhat were you going to do, make a little speech to the fraternityโYouโre going to get in soooo much trouble.โ
โThere might have been more to my plan than that.โ
โWell, I didnโt want to risk your pretty face.โ
They kept walking, past the main business district and into the darker residential streets. Cyrilโs motel was off a side road somewhere close by. He hoped he could find it in the dark, but everything looked very much alike. First he led Willow down the wrong street that ended at an empty lot.
โThis is where youโre staying?โ she asked.
โI think Iโm on the next street.โ
โIf I didnโt know better, Iโd think you were leading me down a dark alley on purpose.โ
โWhy, so you could shoot me?โ
Willow smiled. They found his motel, a cheap little two-story chain: the Firstway Inn. He led her to his door, and she watched calmly while he opened it and turned on the light. The room smelled flat and dusty, and only one of the three overhead light bulbs worked.
Willow jumped on Cyril, wrapping her legs around him, toppling him onto the bed. She kissed his face and his neck then worked inside his mouth, biting his inner lip. They tore off their clothes quickly and tumbled off the bed, fucking like they were the only humans left in a world full of zombies. It was a fantasy Willow had sometimesโthereโs nothing else out there except mindless death, and we are probably infecting each other. Cyril seemed to get it.
She felt a little lost afterwardsโa base note of pleasure under a single shot of panic. Jesus, she thought, I could fall for a guy like this. And then she put on her clothes. When she got to her shoes, Cyril sat up.
โWhere are you going?โ
โNowhere.โ
Cyril started to get dressed.
โYou donโt have to get dressed,โ she said, โI just like to have clothes on.โ
โThatโs too bad.โ
โThank you.โ
Willow put on her jacket, and then she pointed her gun at Cyril.
โIโm going to need all the money,โ she said.
Author Bio:
Preston Lang is a freelance writer, living and working in New York City. The Carrier is his debut novel.






























